Dogs!

[norton73]

Many years ago in a fitness craze, I was riding my bicycle to work. At the top of one hill, where I would be barely moving, some little rat dog would come running out and nip at my ankles. One day I was prepared with my water bottle. When the little f**ker came running out, I sprayed most of the contents of the water bottle straight down his open mouth. He gagged, almost fell into my rear wheel, and ran off. He never left the porch when I rode by after that.

On another occasion, as I was riding down a road, a small dog came running across his yard on an intercept course in front of me. He miscalculated the width of the ditch and the drop off between his yard and the road. When he leapt over it, he fell short and landed nose first on the road edge and slid across the road in front of me. I almost crashed from laughter at the poor guys fate.

[kylepeterson]

It's wrong/inhumane/whatever, but I freaking crave the joy that comes from kicking an unruly canine right in the butthole. If you focus and try really hard you can almost get that big toe up into their diaphragm and emit a wild yelp of pain.

You know  they be like
Bark bark bark bark bark bark barkbark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark barkbark bark bark bark bark bark

And then they turn around to say "hey mom n dad, look at me barking at this stooge over here! Check me YEEEEEE OOOUUUCCCHH EEEELLLLPPP !"

and that's when your boot launches his prolapsed butthole over the fence before that tiny mush between his ears knows what happened.

Hell ya. Booted that butthole.

Extra points if he spins out wild enough to get his dongle bits and tongue sticking out like a red carpet.