B'ham-Dragon in a day

[Buzz]

I've decided I need to be more active/social So............

I haven't been riding much recently. We have bought property, building, and just not feeling it. That being said I decided to get back in the saddle. True to form I  decided a 700ish mile day was in order. No easing into it for me.

So about 8:00 AM I hopped on the Silverwing (aka big fr#%king scooter). I just put a new rear tire, and new drive belt. It was riding  pretty well. A less lazy mechanic would have replaced the leaking fork seal. Oh well....

I live north of Birmingham, so I have to go though the infamous malfunction junction. Normally this is a non issue. Today an extension ladder had to be laying across my lane, in the curve, in heavy traffic. Luckily I was able to share the next lane with an unwilling mom-mobile next to be. Going to be that kind of trip, I suppose.

There was no incidents on I-59. Well if you don't count that it just sucks. Grooved pavement has doesn't bother me much, but 10-20 mile stretches at a time wears on the nerves. Then I passed Rising Fawn. That always make us feel better, doesn't it?

Chattanooga, Chattanooga, Chattanooga.

I love Chattanooga as a town. It is near the mountains. It has decent night life, and it is pretty fun. That being said, I hate riding though Chattanooga. To their credit they try. They widened added lanes, and put new signs. Every time I ride though that town, I get the felling that "Wow I survived that cluster F#%k again." Remember this is coming from the guy who rode the Los Angeles interstate while wondering what everyone was whining about. By the time I reached Cleveland, TN.... I'd had enough.

As I entered the Ocoee river valley, My 'Zen' began to return. There is nothing fancy, curvy, or much to say. It's just a good feeling. To Quote Bilbo "I want to see mountains Gandalf!"

I take the back roads to Tellico. When I get to Tellico I stop, and figure out which turn I need to take to get to the  Cherohala Skyway. As with the multiple other time I've been here, I remember it's the road I'm already on. I can be a dumb ass.

TBC....

[Buzz]

The Cherohala Skyway is always a pleasure. Great views, So much to explore, nice sweeping sweeping turns with no surprises....... well there is that on turn at the bottom that always surprises me. I bet you know the one.

I wonder to the top of this fabulous ridge road to do some hiking. Hooper bald is I nice hiking trail, at 5000', up hill, both ways. Holy crap I've gotten old and fat. I love the  The Cherokee Forrest balds. They date before the days of my fat out of breath ancestors came to the Americas. If you don't know about these landscapes, I suggest you look them up and visit one. Just don't the the jack hole that leaves a bottle of water in the wild flowers. Yes I packed out someone else's trash, Yes I'm still carping about it.

TBC

[Nice Goat]

The Cherohala Skyway is always a pleasure. Great views, So much to explore, nice sweeping sweeping turns with no surprises....... well there is that on turn at the bottom that always surprises me. I bet you know the one.

I wonder to the top of this fabulous ridge road to do some hiking. Hooper bald is I nice hiking trail, at 5000', up hill, both ways. Holy crap I've gotten old and fat. I love the  The Cherokee Forrest balds. They date before the days of my fat out of breath ancestors came to the Americas. If you don't know about these landscapes, I suggest you look them up and visit one. Just don't the the jack hole that leaves a bottle of water in the wild flowers. Yes I packed out someone else's trash, Yes I'm still carping about it.

TBC

I love a good Buzz story. :thumbsup

[Buzz]

I get back to the bike, and I spend time resting. Several sport bikes and fast cars pass by.

After resting from my hike, I changed back to my riding pants. I traveled the rest of the Skyway with out any incident. I had noticed that my riding skills had diminished in my moto-hiatus. I did find it odd that I didn't need to pull out of the way of sport bikes or the many Corvette level cars that I had been seeing. More on that later.

I cut north on highway 129. For anyone that is not familiar, this is not the crazy, stupid, idiots in the wrong lane section of 129. This is the area of the Kilmer Forrest. Sure it's curvy, but its a relaxing ride. There is not much traffic, and the woods are just nice to be in. I see some campers, and I my mind went a bit wistful. We have just bout a Tab trailer to fix up, and I really want us to enjoy the outdoors in that more tame fashion soon. I visited the dam, snuck around the fence, and peed of the bluff. Maybe I haven't became as mature as I previously mentioned. A few sport bikes, and fast cars pass by.

[Buzz]

I reach the tail of the dragon sign/store/whatever. It isn't busy, but there are the usual crowd of cruisers, sport bike, sport cars, ect. I hear a comment about "a scooter". An older gentleman corrected the younger commenter with "That's a 100mph scooter".  It occurs to me that the maxi-scooter trend of the early 2000's is past. most manufacturer's don't sell a 600cc + scooter in the US anymore. My bike is 18 years old. It just hasn't occurred to me that this thing isn't far off from being a classic.

I'm not practically a social person, so I take the obligatory picture of the sign, and leave. I never got off the bike.

I wait a red hot rod Audi to take off. It must have one of those sweet dual clutch transmissions. It sounds sweet, and it haves micro second aggressive shits.  A couple of young guys are giving it the beans. I am actually a bit impressed. I given them a couple of  minutes to get a reactionary gap. If he backs it out of corner, I don't want to be close. There are a couple of just on KTM dukes a full leather behind me. I almost let them go first, but they are taking so, I digress.

I pull out onto the highway, and give it all 50 + or - hp. The CVT belt flaps furiously. It was quite embarrassing.  I had just changed the damn thing. In a sing song voice I holler "SON OF BITCCCCHHH". My bike is quite enough that I am sure the peanut gallery could hear.

My standard practice on this road is to take it easy and smooth. I never found it, any more challenging than a good Gymkhana course. That being said, I have never fancied being a tree ornament either.  Slow in, accelerate out.  There is one corner that always compresses the suspension, and my center stand scrapes. Some of you may know the one, but I never remember it. Ok dumbass, slow down. The Kill Boy crew snaps a picture. As usual it's on a strait, and the bike is totally vertical. They wonder why I never buy them.

I realize that red Audi sounds like it is tearing up road. It really does sound good.  Well crap, I caught them. They must have seen me and my manly scooter. They really get aggressive. I tell my self I am touring, and not racing. Every strait they pour on the throttle, and squeal tires in the curves. They pull away, and like rubber band, I pull them i the curves. " I am repeating "not a race not a race not a race" in my head. It helps..... a little.

We pull into the overlook on the Tennessee side. The Audi guys just stare at me. They take off back to North Carolina, and seem a bit put off. The KTM guys pull up. We BS for a while. I agree that the KTM 390 and 690 are probably the perfect bikes for mountain passes.

As I leave 129 I have an epiphany. I am now the old (er) guy on the old bike. The one I used to try to keep up with, even though they weren't really trying anymore. I remember it used to be so frustrating that I couldn't keep up with a guy on 20 year old POS bike even though I was on a Yamaha R6.

Now about my fappy drive belt....

TBC

[Merkur Man]

Enjoying your write up. It sounds like you had a good trip.
I have a ton of miles on my old Harley, but I have never experienced a "Fappy drive belt" before.
You know all those guys were watching you when you left the store, for sure.

Your new nick name is now "Old Fappy"  ;D

[Buzz]

  FROM BUZZ'S DICTIONARY  

Fappy drive belt- A CVT belt (ie Scooter) that has stretched, worn, or delaminated to a point that is makes a rhythmic concussive sound until slip or release.   

CVT belts work differently than regular drive belts. A CVT belt works by side loading. The belt on a Harley puts the load on the teeth. I am sure a Harley belt can fap, but I'm also sure it is in a more .... um....'macho' manner.

Either way it is a bit embarrassing to get caught in public.

[klaviator]

Great writeup!  Good to see you back on here. 

[Guidedawg]

So nice to see any ride report, much less such an entertaining write up.  I'm glad you were able to climb back on and enjoy the ride.

[Buzz]

Thanks. Sorry for the delay.

I decided to head home. I don't trust the belt for anymore spirited riding. Nothing of note till F$%king Chattanooga.

Coming off the mountain (interstate) traffic is heavy and aggressive. The 18-wheeler behind me is being particularly aggressive. I move a lane over from him. About that time traffic goes from 70 to 0. That 18-wheeler locks it down. Luckily he was able to keep the steering axle rolling enough to get into the breakdown lane. Lucky for me most truck drivers are professional skilled. Two had stopped in front of me safely. The cars behind me are screeching though. I tuck in-between the trailers of the two stopped trucks. It feels safe and cozy.

I think about lane splitting out of the chaos. I can see what has traffic stopped. The entire on duty CPD shift is in the opposite lane, and it is shut down. My lane starts to move.  The trailers I was using as a defensive line move forward, and I take my own lane.

A large bro-dozier* is now riding next to me. A woman is driving (in the loosest sense), facetiming on the phone, and using the phone to show her face-friend the police chaos. I move over to the left break down lane. My fortune telling skills  didn't let me down. BOOM right into the rear of a normal pick up.

I noped the F$%k out of there, and lane split out of this death trap.

I find out later it was police chase that ended in a crash. Rapist ran, hijacked a car, and CPD handled their business.

    https://www.respondersafety.com/news/struck-by-incidents/2016/02/tennessee-trooper-suffers-minor-injuries-at-least-15-vehicles-struck-during-high-speed-chase-in-chattanooga-between-police-and-rape-suspect/ 

I get into Georgia, and I think to my self "It's literally all down hill from here." Thor and Oden must have been paying attention (stupid mortal) Storms.  Holy crap my pants at the lightning strikes storms. All the way to the Ham. Did you know that with all the road construction, I-59 has no fog lines or pac-man dots? That was fun.

I pull into my garage about midnight. 746  (not accurate with a slipping belt)miles. It's not an iron butt, but it was still a full day.

BUZZ'S DICTIONARY

*Bro-dozier- A large pick-up truck (often a F250) that has been over raised, over tired, and over tinted, to the point they have the load capacity of your average wheel burrow. Often driven by an unskilled person not self informed enough to know that we see right though their genital/social issues. They can often be avoided by listening out for the sound of unmuffled exhaust, and bro-country at high volume.

THE END

[JBMFT]

Fun read, thank you!

[Chuck & Susan]

Awesome reading and thank you for entertaining us with your tribulations during your adventure.

Where to for your next ride? I'm thinking you need to start a new Chapter.....

Chuck

[lazeebum]

I know this is an older post, but I really enjoyed Buzz's definitions, especially bro' dozer.